His soul split away, his body was lost and in the end all he had was his existence. His existence in this place. He often wondered, in this time, and his life before it, why he held on so desperately to his existence. He had long forgotten Endʼs warning of not being able to ever escape this if he did. At that point of desperation you did what things were driving you to do or just kept fighting against it. It was shearing. You wanted to just let go to it, become pain itself, to have nothing but pain and so the taunting game would end. There would be no more hope of madness. Actually, he was a pessimistic person for things of this level. He long had no hope. It was just in his stubborn nature not to give up. Sure, heʼd let himself blow himself up, do stupid things that could easily end up in him killed, but he always kept on against it, fighting stupidly without even realizing it, without even wanting to. Just like now.